Ken-Ken's Revenge

8am. Ken sipped his coffee in the kitchen. Today was Sunday, the shop was closed. He didn't have to be up this early but his diabolical plot was just about to be set in motion. For two week he sulked and plotted. Plotted and sulked, now it was his turn. Hearing the shower start he knew it was only time and patience he needed now. Knowing that Ran was in the shower, not hearing any warning before the shower was turned on, he waited.

8:30am. Ran came downstairs and into the kitchen, slightly startled that he wasn't the first one up. "Why are you up so early, Ken?"

"Err, umm, I wanted to talk to you alone this morning."

"What about?" Ran got down his usual coffee cup and filled it with scalding coffee. He sipped the bitter brew, black.

"Did you mean what you said a few weeks back, about that my life and clothes were boring?"

Startled, Ran gazed perplexed at Ken. " I didn't say that."

"You said your grandfather wore underwear like mine and that I needed some excitement in my life."

"Ok, yes I did say that. I didn't mean to hurt you, but all you wear is soccer shirts and either jeans or soccer shorts."

Ken was the startled one now. "I didn't think you cared for fashion, Ran, I thought that was Yoji's department."

"Yeah, that is his department. I just meant that... I don't know what I meant." Ran looked into his bangs and huffed. "I was just coming up with excuses to help out the other guys, but your boxers were hideous. By the way, how do you play soccer wearing boxers? I mean besides the fact that your boxers are longer than your shorts, don't you get banged up running around and stuff." Looking into his coffee as the heat rose up his neck and into his cheeks. Snapping his head up as the peals of laughter coming from the other man in the room.


"Oh, Ran, didn't you play sports in school? I don't wear boxers under my soccer shorts I wear a strap. The banging around isn't half the problem, it's the ball. You must have had gym in school. You ever get hit with a ball?"


"But in school, I still wore underwear over the strap. Wait! Are you saying that all you wear under those skimpy silky shorts is...."


"Yep." At Ran's shocked look, Ken fell into another peal of laughter. Just then a rumbling sound was heard from above, moving through the hall on its way towards the stairs. Ran slammed his mug down, frantically looking for a weapon. Ken leaned back into his kitchen chair, lips twitching, anticipating the show.


"KEN! I AM GOING TO KILL YOU!" Snickering, Ken heard a door slam into a wall, assuming it was his own bedroom door. Snorting, as the stomping and the bellowing got louder. Yoji came rumbling down the stairs in his skimpy white robe, holding what could be only described as a triangle of material with a ribbons of elastic hanging from each corner of the triangle. Choking on his own laughter, Ken fought for breath, he had to run or at least stand to defend himself from the murderess glare he encountered as Yoji finally spotted him. "You better run, Ken. You better run, and keep running, because when I catch you, I am going to KILL YOU!" Yoji said as he took menacing steps into the kitchen, towards Ken. Ken was all but paralyzed by his mirth, that was alternately spluttering out of him and choking him.

"Yoji, What is that? What did Ken do to you?" Ran asked, flabbergasted from the rage emanating from Yoji and Ken nearly sliding out of the chair.

Yoji spun to glare at Ran. "This is my underwear. What used to be my underwear. All of my underwear looks like this, Ran. Ken has systematically cut all of the elastic on my thongs." At the first comment, Ran's lips started to twitch, but by the last comment he was laughing so hard that he was holding himself off the floor by his empty hands on the counter. His elbows were so weak that he was about to join Ken on the floor, when Omi walked in the kitchen, rubbing one eye, in his old school gym shorts.

"What's wrong? Why are you yelling, Yoji?" Omi said as he looked into the kitchen and saw Ken on the floor, curled around his stomach and Ran sliding to the floor with an expression of pain on his face. "Are we under attack?"

"No, but my underwear was attacked." Finally focusing on what Yoji was still holding, Omi started to realize what it was and started to understand what had Ken and Ran on the floor. His high pitched giggle joined the deeper laugh of Ran and the snorts and guffaws of Ken. "Fine, laugh all you want. What am I going to wear under my jeans today until I can replace my underwear."

"You....*humf*....can...*choke*...go...*hawww*....*gasp*....freestyle." Ken laughed thru his comment to Yoji's back as he stalked up the stairs.

"Yah, sure, thanks Ken. By the way, just remember that I was not the only one that pulled that underwear joke on Ken a couple of weeks ago." As Yoji's parting comment Ran and omi stopped laughing and stared first at each other then slowly swerved their collective gaze at the still laughing Ken. As one they jumped up and sprinted for the stairs. Ken registering that he was alone in the kitchen. slowly he straightened his curled form, then jumped agilely to his feet and athletically sprinted up the stairs. He was not about to miss the rest of his revenge. He just reached the top of the stairs when, in stereo he heard the sweet sound of victory.

"KEN, YOU ARE SO DEAD!" Turning left he peaked around the open door of Ran's room. There was no way he was going to have Ran sneak up behind him looking into Omi's room. The horrified look on Ran's face as he looked into his drawer was making him wish he owned a camera. The look was half 'I stepped in dogshit horror" and half 'box full of snakes'. It made Ken grip the doorjamb for support as he felt another roll of cramping stomach muscles. He tried to suppress the laughter. Then he had a flashback of washing all of Ran's whitey-tightys in hot water with his own three pairs of red silk boxers, it was a sacrifice, they would never be the same. Then he dried them on hot to make the color permanent, the shrinking was just an added bonus. He howled. The laughter was just too hard to suppress


Remembering that there was still one more victim, he crawled towards Omi's door, figuring that if Ran finally got over his shock and grabbed his katana that at least he would die laughing. As he got to the doorway Omi came sprinting out and knocked over the crawling Ken, spilling his heaping arms of colorful silk briefs all over Ken's sprawling body. Looking up into the eyes of a grinning Omi. They looked down the hall, as Ran moved into the hall with his pants open, a glimpses of fusca colored briefs peaking out, to investigating the noise of Ken's fall. Ken started to gasp and choke and giggle as Omi joined him on the floor. Yoji and Ran looked down at the colorful display of the two sprawling comrades and finally their infectious giggles had all of them howling.




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