My December

My December

By: Sailor Aurora Helios

 

 

 

This is my December
This is my time of the year

 

          Inuyasha walked silently through the forest. His eyes were downcast, staring at the road ahead of him. His hand was curled in a fist around something. Amber eyes never moved from the path ahead of him, he refused to turn back.


This is my December
This is all so clear

 

          How long had it been since Kagome first freed him from being bound to that tree? How long had he been searching for the shards of the Shikon no Tama that Kagome had shattered with an arrow? He wasn’t even sure anymore, he had stopped counting the days a long time ago. It was all over now. He could do as he wished. His journey was over, Inuyasha had reached his goal.


This is my December
This is my snow covered home

 

          He kept walking. Never wavering, never speaking. A soft sigh escaped the hanyou’s lips as he stopped walking. He stared at the light snow that had begun to fall. Dark clouds overhead seemed to suit the mood Inuyasha was in.


This is my December
This is me alone

 

His gaze suddenly averted to the treetops having thought he caught a glimpse of a familiar midnight blue. He partially expected to see a familiar face grinning down at him, but no. Inuyasha sighed softly and looked around him, there wasn’t another soul around. Everyone had parted ways, going on their own path. They rarely saw each other, and only by chance. Miroku and Sango had gone off together; they had fallen in love with each other. Shippo went with them for a while before he went off on his own. Kagome had returned to her own time and since she no longer had the Shikon no Tama she could not return. Inuyasha now wandered alone; the only other person that would have made up some excuse to follow him... was gone forever.

And I
Just wish that I didn't feel
Like there was something I missed

 

“Akari…” Inuyasha whispered to the wind. Almost instantly an image of the girl appeared at the front of his mind, he could remember her so clearly. Her bright emerald green eyes, long chestnut hair in two braids that reached past her waist, midnight blue kimono, cat-like ears and claws. It was as if he had just seen her, it was so clear. He remembered how they first met. The girl had been looking for the ‘hanyou called Inu-Yasha’ and said she had an offer for him. She showed Inuyasha her five shards of the Shikon no Tama. The way she smiled cheerfully when she handed over three and kept two before explaining, “You get three now, and I’ll keep these two! Once we’re finished collecting them all I’ll give you my shards, understand?”


And I
Take back all the things I said
To make you feel like that

 

Akari had always been so cheerful; she always smiled and kept the group in high spirits. Why hadn’t Inuyasha ever notice before? Notice how Akari had always stuck close to him; how she became closest to him before warming up to the others. Akari would share anything with Inuyasha. Inuyasha thought it was just an automatic bond that formed because they were both hanyous, they both had hard childhoods. Inuyasha sighed softly and looked back at the ground. He had been too worried about Kagome, going crazy inside because of how every time he looked at her he saw Kikyo. He never paid attention to his neko hanyou friend until it was too late.


And I
Just wish that I didn't feel
Like there was something I missed

 

“Inu-chan!” Inuyasha whipped around and stared. He shook his head and sighed. Even now he was still haunted by her voice. Inuyasha cursed himself to the deepest depths of Hell and sighed jumping up to sit on a tree branch. He had thought he loved Kagome. Yes, they had had a relationship together. He closed his eyes looking towards the ground as a memory of Kagome kissing him flashed in his mind. He didn’t love Kagome; he didn’t learn that to later. She was too much like Kikyo, that’s what he loved. It had taken him a long time to get over Kikyo, and when he learned he loved someone else it was too late.


And I
Take back all the things I said to you

 

::::::

“Inuyasha!!!” Inuyasha looked towards the owner of the voice and his eyes grew wide. He had been shoved aside, out of the way of an attack from behind. The scream that came shortly after his name echoed in his mind, a long with the soft thud as a body hit the ground. Akari lay brokenly on the ground, eyes wide with fear. Inuyasha was tempted to rush to her side, but turned instead to the enemy.

“You bastard!!!” Fury raged through Inuyasha, the youkai part of him screaming to kill. He launched forward in an attack. He finished the battle as quickly as he could; when it finally was over he rushed to be sure Akari was alright.

“AKARI! Are you alright? Say something!”

“…heh… That was… some… battle… Inu-chan. Told ya… I’d watch… your back.” Akari smiled weakly up at Inuyasha. Inuyasha growled and made quick work of removing the top part of her kimono. He didn’t even acknowledge the gasp and bright blush that crossed Akari’s cheeks.

“…I could slap you for that, you know…” Akari chuckled and winced.

“Shut up, you stupid girl. Stupid. Stupid. Baka. BAKA! I told you not to get involved. I told you this is my battle. I told you to stay with the others. Do you listen to me? No.” Inuyasha muttered angrily. Akari just looked away and stared into space, not defending herself with her usual reply of how she would fight beside Inuyasha no matter what. Oddly enough Akari said nothing more.

::::::

And I give it all away
Just to have somewhere to go to
Give it all away
To have someone to come home to

 

“I’m sorry.” Inuyasha whispered. He looked down at the Shikon no Tama in his hand. He had finally gotten it. He could become a full youkai if he chose. He thought back on a conversation he had had with Akari, she asked him if he really wanted to become a full youkai. She had seemed so… upset by the thought. They had gotten into an argument over it, and Akari seemed so hurt. Inuyasha again looked at the Shikon no Tama; it could do many things… except bring people back from the dead.

“Even after all that… I still have no place in this world… I could become a youkai if I really wanted to, but what would be the point?” Inuyasha sighed softly. “I’d give up all my powers as a hanyou and become human if I could bring her back.”

This is my December
These are my snow covered dreams

 

Inuyasha closed his eyes and sighed softly. “Was Akari my only real friend?” Inuyasha whispered. He mused over the thought; it hadn’t taken long for the group to split. Inuyasha knew Akari would have stayed with him not matter what, especially after what she told him.

::::::

“Inuyasha…” Akari’s voice was soft, barely above a whisper.

“Shut up. You need to focus on getting better.” Inuyasha muttered and didn’t look up from where he was. It was late and he sat against a tree, arms crossed, eyes closed. Akari lay not to far away.

“No… Listen… to me. No way I’m gonna make it through the night. And… I aint… about to die… without telling you something.” Akari said softly. Inuyasha’s eyes shot open as the girl collapsed in his lap.

“You stu—“

“Shut up.” Akari whispered. She leaned up to stare into Inuyasha’s eyes. Carefully she braced herself and sat up letting her eyes fall shut for a moment. Inuyasha blinked looking confused before his eyes grew wide as he felt Akari’s lips press against his. “Inuyasha… I don’t know… when or how or why it happened… but somehow I fell… in love with you. I know you love Kagome, that’s why I never said anything. But I can’t die having you not know.”

::::::


This is me pretending
This is all I need

 

“Love Kagome? I never did.” Inuyasha whispered. He shook his head before he turned and his fist slammed into the tree. He closed his eyes and growled angrily.

“I should have protected her. She didn’t deserve to die.” Inuyasha whispered. He silently wondered why he even cared; he had buried everything away and pretended he didn’t care while still with the others. Why was this eating at him now?

And I
Just wish that I didn't feel
Like there was something I missed

 

“Damn it… She shouldn’t have followed me. Stupid girl, thinking she needed to protect me. Stupid girl, listening to her heart rather then what I told her to do. Stupid girl… falling in love with a guy like me…” Inuyasha fell silent. He idly stared at the Shikon no Tama.

“She wasn’t always happy. I could see that when she died. She just could control what emotions she allowed to show, that’s why she ran off during the full moon. She couldn’t do that as a human… She…” Inuyasha paused glancing up.


And I
Take back all the things I said
To make you feel like that

 

“Inuyasha…” The voice was a soft whisper on the wind. Inuyasha shook his head and ignored it. He was just hearing things again. He paused, a soft chuckle and it was most definitely real.

“No, you’re not going crazy Inuyasha.” The familiar voice said simply. Inuyasha looked down and…

“Akari!?” He jumped down to stare wide eyed at the girl. “You’re… alive?” His voice was hushed as his hand timidly reached out towards the girl. He looked confused as the braided hanyou immediately jumped backwards, though the longing was evident in her eyes.


And I
Just wish that I didn't feel
Like there was something I missed

 

“Can’t touch, Inuyasha, and no I’m not alive. It’s hard enough appearing like this for you. Anyways… Inuyasha you shouldn’t blame yourself for my death. It was inevitable. I would have followed you no matter what you said, you know me I’m stubborn like that.” Akari explained with a shrug. She smiled brightly carefully looking over Inuyasha.

“Still a hanyou… I thought you’d said you’d be come a youkai when you for the Shikon no Tama.” Akari smiled as she raised an eyebrow and tilted her head to the side, a childish manner in her actions.

“I was a fool back then, and hadn’t understood why you were so upset by my becoming a full youkai.” Inuyasha said simply. Akari nodded slightly and looked away.

“You figured out that it was the fear that you and I could never be.”


And I
Take back all the things I said to you

 

“I’m sorry, Akari, I never meant to hurt you.” Inuyasha whispered. Akari looked up, confusion dancing in emerald depths.

“Hurt me?”

“I should have been able to see how you felt towards me, but I was blind because of Kagome.” Inuyasha stared silently at the girl before him. Akari chuckled softly before speaking.

“I know you don’t love her now. I’ve been watching over you, of course. I loved you but had long decided that I would not interfere with any relationship you’re in. I valued you friendship, Inuyasha, more than anything. Don’t ever think you hurt me.”

And I give it all away
Just to have somewhere to go to
Give it all away
To have someone to come home to

 

“I miss you, Akari. I’d do whatever I could to be with you… even take my own life.” Inuyasha said simply. Akari’s headshot up and her eyes narrowed into a cold glare.

“Don’t EVEN think about it. If you do something stupid like that I’ll go find some dead neko youkai to love. I swear if you ever—“ Akari paused in her ranting as Inuyasha laughed softly. She rolled her eyes before walking forward.

This is my December
This is my time of the year
This is my December
This is all so clear

 

Akari stopped in front of Inuyasha and glared at him. Inuyasha smiled slightly and stared back at her. Her hand lightly reached up to rest against Inuyasha’s face, just barely touching. Inuyasha closed his eyes as Akari leaned forward and their lips met in a soft, unbelievably real feeling kiss before there was nothing.

Give it all away
Just to have somewhere to go to
Give it all away
To have someone to come home to

 

Inuyasha slowly opened his eyes to stare at the empty space in front or him. A ghost of a smile crossed his lips as he turned away and continued walking down the path. He continued walking as the snow fell about him; he’d go on living for now. He knew Akari would always be with him no matter what.

Give it all away
Just to have somewhere to go to
Give it all away
To have someone to come home to




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